Bu’t Va`ng So^’ 1 – Pha^`n 2
Cay Dan Muon Dieu – The Thousand Sounded Guitar (poem)
Gui Huong Cho Gio – Perfume In The Wind (poem)
Nhung Ngay Tuoi Am – The Warm and Gay Days (short story)
Loi Tham Hue – A Call To Hue (poem)
Dau Nanh – Soybeans (research paper)
Nha Tu Viet Cong – Vietnamese Communist Prisons (report)
Muon Anh – I Want You (poem)
Tuong Nhu La Tinh Yeu – Was That Love (short story)
Nhan Nhu Kho Dau – O Misery (poem)
Si~ Phu va` Si~ Quan - Counterpart (book review)
Ba Do – The Teacher’s Wife (poem)
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Muoán Anh muoán anh laø röôïu cho em uoáng Vieãn Du Trích Vaên hoïc ngheä thuaät, 485, 11/12/99 |
I Want You I want you to be the my wine Vien Du
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Muo^’n Anh muo^'n anh la` ru+o+.u cho em uo^'ng Vie^~n Du Tri’ch Va(n ho.c nghe^. thua^.t, 485, 11/12/99 |
Tu*o*?ng Nhu* La` Ti`nh Ye^u – Was That Love
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Töôûng Nhö Laø Tình Yeâu Hình nhö oâng Trôøi ñaõ quaù öu ñaõi cho toâi. Taát caû nhöõng ñieàu thieân haï öôùc mô, toâi ñeàu coù ñuû. Toâi töï caûm thaáy mình laø moät ngöôøi haïnh phuùc nhaát trong nhöõng ngöôøi haïnh phuùc treân theá gian naøy. Töø thöôû bieát suy nghó ñeán giôø, toâi luoân thoûa maõn vôùi haïnh phuùc mình ñang coù. Toâi nguïp laën trong tình thöông cuûa boá meï, anh chò, thaày coâ vaø baïn beø. Moãi giôø, moãi phuùt, moãi giaây ñoái vôùi toâi ñeàu luoân luoân vui nhoän. Dó nhieân ñoâi khi cuõng coù nhöõng noãi buoàn nho nhoû, nhöng nhöõng ñieàu vui thì thaät laø nhieàu, nhieàu ñeán khoâng theå naøo nhôù heát. Toâi coøn nhôù coù laàn nhoû Trang, baïn toâi, ñaõ nhaïi theo oâng Cao Baù Quaùt maø phaøn naøn: Trong loøng toâi cuõng thaàm caûm thaáy nhoû noùi ñuùng, nhöng ngoaøi maët giaû boä cöï nöï: Nghe nhoû noùi khieán toâi ñoû böøng caû maët, voäi "taëng" cho nhoû ta moät caùi nheùo ñau ñieáng cho boõ gheùt, laøm nhoû aáy giaät mình la leân: Nhoû Trang ñang tía lia voäi boû chaïy, mieäng la baøi haûi vì toâi ñang giôû moân voõ sôû tröôøng "Cöûu AÂm Baïch Coát Traûo" ra ñeå nheùo nhoû lia lòa. ÖØa, maø nhoû noùi cuõng ñuùng. Töø daïo vaøo trung hoïc, toâi ñaõ töï bieát mình ñeïp neân coù nhieàu caây si ñöùng ñôïi ngoaøi coång tröôøng moãi laàn tan hoïc veà. Duø töï bieát vaäy, nhöng moãi khi nghe nhoû Trang nhaéc ñeán, toâi vaãn thaáy maéc côû laøm sao ñoù neân phaûi tìm caùch ñeå nhoû ta khoâng noùi tieáp nöõa. Hai ñöùa röôït nhau chaïy loøng voøng moät luùc roài ngoài thôû vaø cöôøi caàu hoøa. Môùi nghe nhoû Trang noùi ñeán ñoù, toâi ñaõ ñoû caû maët vaø giô "moùng vuoát" chuaån bò nheùo laøm nhoû ta voäi thuû theá vaø noùi lieàn moät maïch: Toâi luùng tuùng khoâng bieát giaûi thích laøm sao neân ñaønh cöôøi duyeân vôùi nhoû ñeå chöõa theïn. Vôùi laïi nhoû Trang noùi ñuùng yù toâi quaù, coøn caõi sao ñöôïc nöõa. Chò Thuùy ñuùng laø thaàn töôïng, laø baø tieân, laø quaân sö, laø ngöôøi baïn tri kyû cuûa toâi. Toâi yeâu chò thaät laø nhieàu, nhöng coù leõ cuõng chöa nhieàu baèng tình yeâu chò daønh cho toâi Chò Thuùy hôn toâi ñeán möôøi tuoåi, nhöng chò thaät treû vaø ñeïp. Chaû theá maø anh Thaéng cöù phaøn naøn: Toâi ñöôïc dòp lieàn choïc queâ anh aáy ñeå traû ñuõa cho nhöõng laàn bò anh treâu gheïo: Anh Thaéng töùc quaù maø khoâng bieát laøm chi neân ñaønh boû ñi moät nöôùc, maëc cho toâi oâm buïng cöôøi laên boø caøng treân gheá sofa. -oOo- Lôùp hoïc toâi ñang xoân xao veà tin coù thaày giaùo daïy Toaùn môùi ñoåi veà thay thaày Hoaøn. Bieát bao nhieâu laø huyeàn thoaïi ñöôïc theâu deät quanh vò thaày chöa bieát maët naøy, khieán toâi cuõng thaáy noân nao trong loøng. Cuoái cuøng, roài cuõng ñeán giôø toaùn ñaàu tuaàn. Thaày Long, vò thaày môùi, coøn raát treû, coù leõ chæ hôn chuùng toâi khoaûng boán, naêm tuoåi gì thoâi. Nhöng thaày raát chöõng chaïc vaø nghieâm trang. Caû lôùp döôøng nhö sieâng hoïc hôn. Chuùng toâi say meâ nghe thaày giaûng, tranh nhau giaûi ñaùp nhöõng baøi toaùn hoùc buùa cuûa thaày vaø caûm thaáy giôø toaùn sao maø ngaén laï Coù moät laàn, toâi cöù ngoài caén buùt suy nghó maõi maø vaãn khoâng taøi naøo tìm ra lôøi giaûi ñaùp. Baøi toaùn thoaït nhìn töôûng chöøng raát ñôn giaûn, nhöng sao laïi khoù gheâ nôi . Ñuùng luùc ñoù, chò Thuùy vöøa ñi hoïc Anh Vaên veà, troâng thaáy khuoân maët æu xìu cuûa toâi, neân gheù laïi ñoïc sô qua ñeà baøi . Chò nghó moät chuùt roài baûo: Toâi möøng quaù, nhaûy caãng leân oâm chaàm laáy chò Thuùy vaø reo to leân: Chò Thuùy mæm cöôøi, goõ nheï leân ñaàu toâi moät caùi roài ñi vaøo phoøng trong ngoài may quaàn aùo. Töï döng toâi boãng döng thaáy thöông vaø bieát ôn chò Thuùy thaät laø nhieàu, nhieàu khoâng theå taû ñöôïc. Moãi ngaøy, ñi laøm veà, chò laïi coøn nhaän may theâm quaàn aùo ñeå phuï giuùp boá meï nuoâi naáng chuùng toâi aên hoïc ñaày ñuû. Vaø cuõng nhôø vaäy maø toâi coù nhöõng boä quaàn aùo thaät ñeïp ñeå dieän vôùi baïn beø. Nhoû Trang coù laàn thaéc maéc vôùi toâi laø sao chò Thuùy ñeïp vaäy maø chöa laäp gia ñình, cuõng khoâng thaáy chò coù boà maëc duø coù raát nhieàu ngöôøi theo ñuoåi chò. Toâi cuõng chaúng bieát phaûi traû lôøi ra sao nöõa, neân hoûi meï. Hoâm ñoù, toâi vöøa ngoài nhoå toùc saâu cho meï, vöøa thì thaàm doø hoûi. Meï tæ teâ keå cho toâi nghe: Meï hoûi treâu toâi roài keå tieáp: Nghe meï keå, toâi boãng thaáy thöông chò Thuùy nhieàu hôn leân. Loøng chung thuûy cuûa chò thaät ñaùng kính phuïc. Toâi thaàm caàu nguyeän cho anh Quaân ñöôïc bình an vaø sôùm trôû veà sum hoïp vôùi chò Thuùy. Toái hoâm ñoù, toâi thöùc thaät laø khuya. Moät phaàn vì loøng cöù nao nao khi nghó ñeán moái tình cuûa chò Thuùy vaø anh Quaân, phaàn nöõa vì baøi toaùn khoù quaù, nghó maõi vaãn chöa ra lôøi giaûi ñaùp. Toâi cöù loay hoay vieát vieát xoùa xoùa ñaày nhöõng trang giaáy nhaùp. Tieáng maùy may vaãn vang ñeàu ñeàu beân tai nhö nhaéc nhôû toâi phaûi gaéng hoïc haønh. Thôøi gian cöù chaàm chaäm troâi qua . Toâi boãng giaät mình khi chò Thuùy ñaët tay leân vai toâi vaø hoûi: Toâi ngöôùc leân nhìn chò cöôøi tröø, roài oâm chaàm laáy chò, kheõ noùi: Chò Thuùy hôi mæm cöôøi, ñöa tay dí nheï vaøo traùn toâi roài baûo: Toâi ñònh giaûi thích cho chò hieåu laø loøng toâi ñang xuùc ñoäng vaø thaáy yeâu chò nhieàu hôn sau khi nghe meï keå veà chuyeän tình cuûa chò. Nhöng roài, toâi chaúng bieát phaûi baét ñaàu ra sao nöõa, neân chæ im laëng duïi duïi ñaàu vaøo loøng chò Thuùy maëc cho chò hieåu laàm yù cuûa toâi . Chò Thuùy coù leõ hôi ngaïc nhieân nhöng vaãn dòu daøng oâm toâi moät luùc, roài kheõ baûo: Saùng hoâm sau, toâi ñöôïc moät phen haõnh dieän vôùi baïn beø vì laø ngöôøi duy nhaát giaûi ñöôïc baøi toaùn. Thaày Long coù veû ngaïc nhieân vaø thích thuù laém. Luùc toâi vieát xong baøi giaûi leân baûng, thaày nhö voâ tình caàm tôø baøi giaûi, do chò Thuùy vieát, caát vaøo quyeån saùch. Toâi ngaäp ngöøng muoán xin laïi, nhöng roài khoâng daùm neân laúng laëng ñi veà choã ngoài. Toâi chaúng maøng ñeán nhöõng tieáng xì xaøo khen ngôïi cuûa ñaùm baïn beø ñang lao xao beân tai, vì toâi chæ caàn ñöôïc thaày Long khen maø thoâi aø. Nhö vaäy phaûi chaêng laø tình yeâu ?? Toâi thaàm nghó vaø hôi ñoû maët vì töï theïn vôùi yù töôûng vöøa thoaùng qua. Tröa ñoù khi ñi ngang choã toâi ngoài, thaày Long boãng baûo laø coù theå thaày seõ gheù thaêm toâi vaøo tröa mai sau giôø tan hoïc. Toâi lí nhí kheõ daï moät tieáng roài ñi veà theo nhoû Trang maø taâm trí maõi vô vaån ôû ñaâu ñaâu khieán nhoû Trang cöù thaéc maéc hoûi doø hoaøi. Buoåi toái, aên côm xong, toâi cöù ñi ra ñi vaøo, khoâng bieát neân baét ñaàu caâu chuyeän ra sao. May maø chò Thuùy ñoaùn ñöôïc neân gaïn hoûi. Toâi aáp uùng keå cho chò nghe roài lo laéng hoûi: Chò Thuùy baät cöôøi: Tröa hoâm sau, vöøa tan hoïc xong, toâi voäi ñaïp xe veà nhaø. Sau böõa côm, boá meï vaøo phoøng nghæ tröa, anh Thaéng sang nhaø baïn hoïc baøi, chò Thuùy vöøa môùi ñi ñaâu ñoù. Caû nhaø vaéng laëng voâ cuøng, chæ coøn mình toâi loay hoay lo doïn deïp nhaø cöûa cho goïn gaøng hôn. Töï nhieân toâi thaáy thaät hoài hoäp, maët cöù noùng böøng böøng nhö ñang laøm ñieàu chi leùn luùt vaäy, laï thaät ñoù. Thôøi gian cöù thong thaû troâi qua, toâi ñi ra ñi vaøo maõi, chaúng bieát laøm chi ñeå töï traán tónh. Cuoái cuøng, toâi ñònh saép xeáp laïi choàng saùch vôû cuõ cho goïn gaøng, ñeïp maét hôn. Nhöng roài toâi laïi lính quyùnh ñeán ñoä laøm ñoå caû choàng saùch vôû cuûa chò Thuùy, neân voäi vaøng cuùi xuoáng nhaët. Tình côø, toâi ñoïc ñöôïc maáy caâu thô trong moät quyeån vôû môû treân maët ñaát. A, neùt chöõ meàm maïi, xinh xaén cuûa chò Thuùy ñaây maø. Vöøa ngaïc nhieân xen laãn toø moø neân toâi voäi mang quyeån vôû ra ngoaøi phoøng khaùch ngoài ñoïc. AØ thì ra laø taäp thô cuûa chò Thuùî Toâi thaàm kheõ reo leân. Nhöõng baøi thô thaät hay vaø deã thöông laøm sao ñoù. Chöa bao giôø toâi laïi nghó ñeán chuyeän chò Thuùy coù moät taâm hoàn thi só nhö vaäy. Ñang meâ maûi ñoïc, boãng coù tieáng goõ cöûa khe kheõ vang leân laøm toâi ngaång leân nhìn roài baät reo leân: Toâi chaïy voäi ra môû cöûa môøi thaày vaøo nhaø, roài luùng tuùng khoâng bieát neân noùi chi nöõa . May maø thaày Long ñaõ töï nhieân ngoài xuoáng gheá, roài ñuøa maø baûo toâi: Toâi beõn leõn cöôøi, voäi noùi tröôùc khi boû chaïy xuoáng beáp: Roùt nöôùc xong, toâi coøn chaàn chöøng ñöùng theâm moät luùc ñeå laáy laïi bình tónh, tröôùc khi böng nöôùc leân phoøng khaùch: Ñang noùi, toâi chôït im baët khi thaáy thaày Long ñang caàm taäp thô cuûa chò Thuùy treân tay vaø say meâ ñoïc. Nghe tieáng toâi, thaày ngöûng leân nhìn roài baûo: Thaày Long kheõ baät cöôøi khi nghe toâi lyù söï: Toâi cöôøi theïn thuøng roài ngoài im, khoâng daùm nhìn thaúng vaøo maét thaày. Ngaøy thöôøng toâi leùm lænh laém maø sao böõa nay löôõi toâi cöù cöùng ñô, aáp a aáp uùng maõi khoâng neân lôøi ñöôïc. Coù leõ thaáy Long cuõng nhaän thaáy ñöôïc söï boái roái cuûa toâi neân thaày noùi: Toâi chæ beõn leõn cöôøi vaø tieãn thaày ra cöûa. Toái hoâm ñoù, toâi maát nguû vì cöù suy nghó vaån vô maõi. Traùi tim toâi ñaäp roän raøng moãi khi nghó ñeán thaày Long. Phaûi chaêng toâi ñaõ ... yeâu ?? Moät toái, caû nhaø vöøa aên côm xong thì thaày Long gheù thaêm. Boá meï toâi ngoài noùi chuyeän vôùi thaày moät luùc roài veà phoøng nghæ. Chæ coøn toâi, anh Thaéng vaø thaày Long ngoài noùi chuyeän trong phoøng khaùch. Nhöõng maåu chuyeän lyù thuù cöù tieáp noái theo nhau keát neân nhöõng tieáng cöôøi roøn tan xen laãn trong nhöõng cuoäc tranh luaän soâi noåi baøn veà nhöõng giai thoaïi cuûa caùc danh nhaân Toaùn hoïc vaø caû nhöõng chuyeän thôøi söï, vaên chöông, xaõ hoäi. Moät luùc sau, anh Thaéng coù baïn ñeán ruû ñi taäp vaên ngheä, chæ coøn mình toâi ngoài noùi chuyeän vôùi thaày Long. Thaät söï ra phaûi noùi laø toâi ngoài nghe vaø ... ngaém thaày nhieàu hôn laø noùi. Toâi cöù ngoài vaø meâ maûi theo doõi nhöõng maåu chuyeän thaày keå cho nghe, ñeå nghe hoàn thaån thô theo tieáng noùi traàm aám cuûa thaày. Boãng coù tieáng cöûa môû, khieán toâi giaät mình ngöûng leân nhìn roài vuït chaïy ra cöûa ñoùn chò Thuùy: Hai chò em toâi cöù maûi ríu rít chuyeän troø voâ tình queân khoâng chuù yù ñeán söï hieän dieän cuûa thaày Long. Maõi ñeán luùc nghe tieáng ñaèng haéng khe kheõ cuûa thaày, toâi môùi chôït nhôù ñeán vieäc giôùi thieäu hai ngöôøi vôùi nhau . Chò Thuùy gaät ñaàu chaøo thaày roài ñònh vaøo nhaø trong, laøm toâi voäi vaøng níu chò ôû laïi vì muoán coù moät ngöôøi ôû caïnh mình cho ... bôùt run. Hai chò em daèng co nhau moät luùc roài chò cuõng chieàu yù toâi, ngoài naùn laïi. Buoåi toái hoâm ñoù, thaày Long ñaõ say meâ keå raát nhieàu chuyeän cho chuùng toâi nghe. Gioïng noùi traàm aám, nhöng cuõng raát nhieät tình, soâi noåi cuûa thaày ñaõ ru toâi vaøo moät côn meâ, may maø coøn coù chò Thuùy ôû beân caïnh ñeå giuùp toâi laáy laïi söï töï chuû. Sau hoâm ñoù, thaày Long ñaõ trôû laïi nhaø toâi raát nhieàu laàn. Toâi ñaõ bôùt e theïn neân baét ñaàu noùi chuyeän töï nhieân hôn, ñoâi luùc coøn haêng haùi tham gia vaøo nhöõng buoåi thaûo luaän thaät laø vui vaø haøo höùng khieán thaày Long cuõng phaûi ngaïc nhieân. Toâi ñaõ noùi raát nhieàu, raát nhieàu, ñaõ keå cho thaày nghe bieát bao nhieâu giaác moäng vu vô cuûa toâi. Nhöng chæ coù moãi moät ñieàu toâi ñang aáp uû trong loøng, coù leõ chaúng bao giôø toâi coù theå thoát thaønh lôøi neân thaày Long maõi vaãn thaûn nhieân, voâ tình khoâng bieát, khoâng hay. Chæ coù chò Thuùy laø thaáu hieåu ñöôïc raèng toâi ñaõ thaàm yeâu thaày Long, neân chò thöôøng tranh laøm nhöõng vieäc cuûa toâi ñeå toâi coù thì giôø noùi chuyeän vôùi thaày Long nhieàu hôn. Moãi ngaøy troâi qua, tình toâi thaàm daønh trao thaày caøng theâm taêng gaáp boäi. Vò ngoït vaø ñaéng cuûa tình yeâu khieán hoàn toâi lao ñao, vieäc hoïc cuõng phaàn naøo bò keùm suùt. May maø toâi coøn coù chò Thuùy, baø tieân hieàn dòu, luoân lo laéng, saên soùc, giuùp ñôõ neân cuõng chöa ñeán noãi naøo. Toâi thaàm caùm ôn söï teá nhò cuûa chò thaät laø nhieàu. -oOo- Thoaùng choác thôøi gian troâi qua nhanh quaù. Nhieàu vieäc xaûy ra doàn daäp khieán toâi baøng hoaøng ngôõ chöøng ñang mô. Thaày Long ra Haø Noäi theo hoïc khoùa boài döôõng. Anh Quaân ñöôïc tha veà, xum hoïp cuøng chò Thuùy. Taû sao ñöôïc giaây phuùt truøng phuøng möøng möøng tuûi tuûi ñoù. Sau nhöõng naêm thaùng daøi chòu nhieàu gian khoå, anh Quaân gaày vaø phong traàn raát nhieàu, nhöng caùi daùng cao cao, ñaày veû ngang taøng naêm naøo vaãn coøn. Chæ coù maùi toùc anh ñaõ sôùm ñoåi maøu. Tieäc cöôùi cuûa anh Quaân vaø chò Thuùy ñöôïc toå chöùc tuy ñôn giaûn nhöng thaät trang nghieâm vôùi söï tham döï cuûa hoï haøng hai hoï vaø moät soá baïn beø thaân thuoäc. Sau ñoù, anh Quaân ñaõ cuøng chò Thuùy vöôït bieân vaøo nhöõng ngaøy giaùp Teát. Buoåi toái chia tay, hai chò em toâi ñaõ naèm taâm söï vôùi nhau thaät khuya maõi ñeán khi toâi meät moûi nguû thieáp ñi. Khi toâi choaøng thöùc daäy thì chò Thuùy ñaõ ñi roài, chæ coù moät goùi quaø chò daønh cho toâi ñaët beân goái vôùi haøng chöõ vieát voäi: Moãi laàn nhìn laïi nhöõng haøng chöõ vieát voäi cuûa chò, toâi laïi röng röng muoán khoùc. Nhôù chò voâ cuøng, chò Thuùy ôi. Noãi nhôù vuùt cao leân keát thaønh nhöõng gioït leä traøo daâng nôi khoeù maét. Baát giaùc, toâi ñöa tay xieát chaët laáy chieác goái coøn vöông höông toùc cuûa chò vaøo loøng, mô hoà töôûng nhö ñang ñöôïc chò voã veà, an uûi. Toâi cöù thaû hoàn lang thang theo nhöõng ngaøy thaùng cuõ vôùi bieát bao kyû nieäm ngoït ngaøo cuûa hai chò em queân caû thôøi gian, khoâng gian hieän taïi . Boãng coù tieáng xe thaéng ôû tröôùc coång, khieán toâi giaät mình, chaïy ra cöûa vaø vui söôùng traøn ngaäp loøng khi thaáy daùng thaày Long. Tuy vaäy, toâi chæ kheõ noùi: Thaày Long coù veû vui laém, khuoân maët thaày raïng rôõ vôùi ñoâi maét long lanh nhö aån daáu moät nuï cöôøi. Toâi nhìn thaày vaø thaàm töï hoûi: "Phaûi chaêng thaày vui vì gaëp laïi toâi?." Caâu hoûi cöù nhaûy muùa trong trí khieán toâi caûm thaáy noùng böøng ñoâi maù vaø töï theïn vôùi yù nghó vôù vaån cuûa chính mình. May maø tieáng traàm aám cuûa thaày chôït vang kheõ beân tai, keùo toâi trôû veà hieän taïi: Toâi aáp uùng khoâng bieát noùi chi, neân chæ chu mieäng nguyùt thaày moät caùi thay lôøi phaûn ñoái . Thaày Long chæ cöôøi cöôøi nhìn toâi, roài chôït hoûi: Toâi ngôõ ngaøng khoâng hieåu taïi sao töï nhieân thaày Long laïi hoûi veà chò Thuùy, nhöng vaãn traû lôøi: Toâi coøn ñang phaân vaân chöa bieát coù neân keå cho thaày Long nghe nhöõng thay ñoåi trong gia ñình toâi hay khoâng thì thaày Long ñaõ trao cho toâi moät goùi giaáy vaø chæ noùi vaén taét tröôùc khi voäi vaõ boû ñi: Toâi goïi voäi theo nhöng thaày Long vaãn thaûn nhieân laùi xe chaïy thaúng. Coù leõ tieáng ñoäng cô oàn aøo ñaõ laøm chìm maát tieáng goïi cuûa toâi hay cuõng coù theå vì loøng thaày ñang vui neân khoâng chuù yù ñeán ngoaïi caûnh ?? Toâi ñöùng doõi nhìn theo maõi ñeán khi maát huùt boùng thaày môùi thaãn thôø quay vaøo nhaø, thaàm nghó: "Chò Thuùy ñaâu coøn ôû ñaây ñeå xem quaø cuûa thaày nöõa, thaày Long ôi". Toâi oâm goùi quaø ngoài mô maøng moät luùc, roài khoâng keàm ñöôïc tính hieáu kyø cuûa mình, neân töø töø môû lôùp giaáy bao beân ngoaøi ra ñeå xem thaày Long ñònh taëng chò Thuùy moùn quaø gì. Maét toâi chôït hoa leân khi ñoïc thaáy haøng chöõ bay böôùm cuûa thaày vieát ôû goùc taám hình hoaï chaân dung chò Thuùy: "Thöông taëng Vyõ Thuùy, ngöôøi con gaùi toâi yeâu. Vuõ Long". Moät tôø giaáy nhoû kheõ rôi xuoáng, toâi chæ coøn ñoïc ñöôïc loaùng thoaùng qua maøn leä: "..... taám hình thay lôøi toû tình, mong Thuùy chaáp nhaän ...". Caû khoâng gian nhö suïp ñoå, toâi ngaõ daøi treân goái vaø thaàm kheõ nöùc nôû moät mình. Töù Dieãm - November 1, 1992 . Taùc giaû giöõ baûn quyeàn. |
Was that love?
Since the time I understood things around me, I had always been satified with my happiness. I swam in the love of my parents, my brother and sister, my teachers and my friends. Every hour, every minute, every second in my life was full of joy. Of course, sometimes I had insignificant sadness, but the joyful moments were a lot more; they were so many that I couldn’t remember them all. I remember once my friend Trang, copying the sentence of the poet Cao Ba Quat, complained about me: I felt that perhaps she was telling the truth, but I still objected: Upon hearing that, my face became all red, and I hurried to give her a pinch so painful that she shouted: She stopped talking and run away in yelling at me, since I was using a "congfu" procedure named "Cuu Am Bach Cot Trao" to pince her incessantly. Of course, what she said was not very far from the truth. Since the day I began to study in high school, I already knew that I was beautiful, and thus there were many passionate souls waiting to see me in front of my school everyday when classes ended. Although I knew that, every time when Trang mentioned it, I felt shy and had to find a way to stop her from talking. We run after each other for a while then we sat down to take our breaths and smile at each other to make peace. Upon hearing that, my face became all red again, and I prepared my "claws" to pinch her, and that made her to become defensive, and she spoke quickly: I was confused and did not know what to tell her, so I only smiled to her to hide my embarrasment. Moreover, what she said was so correct that I had nothing to say. My sister Thuy was my idol, my fairy, my counselor, and my closest friend. I loved her so much, but perhaps she still loved me more. She is about ten years older than I am, but she looks very young and beautiful. That’s why my brother Thang once complained: Jumping on the occasion, I teased him, to revenge for the other times he had teased me: Baffled, my brother Thang went away without saying a word, and I stayed on the sofa, laughing my heart off. -oOo-
Once, I tried to solve one of the math problems at home. It seems to be very simple at first, but then it’s very hard to solve. At that moment, my sister Thuy came home from her English class. Seeing my dull face, she came and took a look at the subject. She thought a little bit then said to me:
I was so happy that I said, jumping to hug her:
Sister Thuy smiled, tapped on my head, and went to the room inside, to her sewing machine. Suddenly I felt full of love and gratitute for my sister. Everyday, when she came home from work, she still assembled clothes to get some more money to help my parents, to bring us up. And that’s also the reason why I had my nice clothings to show off to my friends.
-- When Thuy was of your age, she was very beautiful ...
After teasing me, she continued:
-- Ah, I remember that now. During that time, we had so many visitors, right? They gave me lots of gifts and cookies...
-- Yes, I remember a little bit about him, then what else, mom?
After hearing my mother telling the story, I even love my sister Thuy more. Her loyalty is very admirable. I wished Quan to be safe and return soon to my sister Thuy. I stayed very late that night. Partly it’s because I empathized so much with their love, partly because the math problem is still so hard to solve. I filled up all my scratch papers. The sound of sister Thuy’s sewing machine was like reminding me to study hard. Time passed slowly. I startled when sister Thuy’s hand layed on my shoulder. She asked me:
-- Is this for me to help you with your math problem again?
-- It’s late now, go to bed and let me do it for you. Tomorrow you will see the solution. Sleep well, my dear...
That afternoon, when passing by my seat, Mr. Long told me that he would visit me the next day, after class. I answered him with a small "Yes" then followed Trang out to the schoolyard. Trang was perplexed and asked me a lot of questions, since she saw that my mind was wandering somewhere else. In the evening, after dinner, I went in and out and did not know how to begin to tell the story. Luckily sister Thuy guessed that there was something in my mind, so she asked me first. I slowly told her what happened at school and asked her, worrying:
The next day, when school ended, I rode my bike home quickly. After lunch, my parents went to their room for a nap, brother Thang went to his friend’s to study, and sister Thuy went somewhere. The house was very quiet, and there was only me, going around to tidy the house a bit. I suddenly felt fluttering, and my face was all hot, as if I was doing something secret – very strange indeed. Time passed slowly, and I went out and in a lot, without knowing what to do to take control of my feelings. At last, while I tried to rearrange the book pile to make it look better, I made the whole pile of sister Thuy’s books fall down on the floor. I hurried to pick them up. By accident, I read some verses in an open notebook on the floor. Ah, this is sister Thuy’s gentle and nice writing. Surprised and curious, I brought that notebook to the living room to read. Ah, those are sister Thuy’s poems, I softly acclaimed. The poems are so well written and nice. I had never known that she had such a soul of a poet. While I was concentrating on the poems, a knock on the door made me look up and say out:
I hurried to open the door for him, and perplexed, I did not know what to say.
-- Why is my math technician so quiet today? She forgot to learn her lesson or what?
-- Let me bring you some tea. Please wait for me just one minute.
-- You also like to write poems? These poems are very nice and well written. Mr. Long laughed heartily when hearing my reasoning: -- Okay, you win, I can’t argue against you. Today I am visiting a friend of mine who lives nearby, so I visit you to see how you are studying, to be so good at solving math problems. I timidly smiled and sat still, not venturing to look at his eyes. Ordinary, I was very talkative, but I didn’t know why today it was as if my tongue had hardened, and I couldn’t use it to say anything. Perhaps Mr. Long noticed my embarrassment, so he said: I only shyly smiled and accompanied him to the door. That evening, I lost my sleep because I thought of several things. My heart beat quickly every time I thought of Mr. Long. Did I ... fall in love with him?
-- Ah, sister Thuy. Why do you come home so late today? Are you hungry? What’s inside this big bag? Let me carry it for you ...
-oOo- Time passed so quickly. Many things happened at the same time and they confused me, as if I was dreaming. Mr. Long went to Ha Noi for a training session. Mr. Quan came back, to reunite with my sister Thuy. How could I describe that moment of joy and mournful at the same time. After many years of hardship, Quan had become skinny and experienced, but his old tall shaped body with his unsubmissive air was still there. Only his hair had changed color. The wedding of Quan and my sister Thuy was celebrated, simple but not without solemnity, with the presences of the relatives on both sides, and a number of close friends. Afterward, near the end of the year, Quan and Thuy fled away from the country by boat. In the evening before her departure, I stayed very late talking to my sister, until I was so tired and fell asleep. When I woke up, my sister Thuy had already gone, but next to my pillow was her gift for me, with some lines from her, written in a hurry:
Mr. Long seemed to be very happy. His face was bright, with his two glistening eyes, which seems to conceal a smile. Looking at him, I wondered: "Is he happy because he meets me again?" This question sprung in my mind and made me feel hot in my cheeks. I felt ashamed of it. His warm voice called me back to the present:
Knowing nothing to say, I only gave him a protesting glance. Mr. Long smiled at me, and suddenly he asked:
Surprised, I did not understand why he asked about sister Thuy, but I still answered him:
I still did not know if I should tell him about the changes in my family, but he already gave me a packet and spoke quickly before going away:
-- Oh, Mr. Long ... Mr. Long...
A small piece of paper dropped, and I can only read vaguely, through my tears, "... this picture takes the place of the declaration of my love, and I hope that you would accept it..."
(Thuan Do translated) |
Tu+o+?ng Nhu+ La` Ti`nh Ye^u Hi`nh nhu+ o^ng Tro+`i dda~ qua' u+u dda~i cho to^i. Ta^'t ca? nhu+~ng ddie^`u thie^n ha. u+o+'c mo+, to^i dde^`u co' ddu?. To^i tu+. ca?m tha^'y mi`nh la` mo^.t ngu+o+`i ha.nh phu'c nha^'t trong nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i ha.nh phu'c tre^n the^' gian na`y. Tu+` thu+o+? bie^'t suy nghi~ dde^'n gio+`, to^i luo^n tho?a ma~n vo+'i ha.nh phu'c mi`nh ddang co'. To^i ngu.p la(.n trong ti`nh thu+o+ng cu?a bo^' me., anh chi., tha^`y co^ va` ba.n be`. Mo^~i gio+`, mo^~i phu't, mo^~i gia^y ddo^'i vo+'i to^i dde^`u luo^n luo^n vui nho^.n. Di~ nhie^n ddo^i khi cu~ng co' nhu+~ng no^~i buo^`n nho nho?, nhu+ng nhu+~ng ddie^`u vui thi` tha^.t la` nhie^`u, nhie^`u dde^'n kho^ng the^? na`o nho+' he^'t. To^i co`n nho+' co' la^`n nho? Trang, ba.n to^i, dda~ nha.i theo o^ng Cao Ba' Qua't ma` pha`n na`n: Trong lo`ng to^i cu~ng tha^`m ca?m tha^'y nho? no'i ddu'ng, nhu+ng ngoa`i ma(.t gia? bo^. cu+. nu+.: Nghe nho? no'i khie^'n to^i ddo? bu+`ng ca? ma(.t, vo^.i "ta(.ng" cho nho? ta mo^.t ca'i nhe'o ddau ddie^'ng cho bo~ ghe't, la`m nho? a^'y gia^.t mi`nh la le^n: Nho? Trang ddang ti'a lia vo^.i bo? cha.y, mie^.ng la ba`i ha?i vi` to^i ddang gio+? mo^n vo~ so+? tru+o+`ng "Cu+?u A^m Ba.ch Co^'t Tra?o" ra dde^? nhe'o nho? lia li.a. U+`a, ma` nho? no'i cu~ng ddu'ng. Tu+` da.o va`o trung ho.c, to^i dda~ tu+. bie^'t mi`nh dde.p ne^n co' nhie^`u ca^y si ddu+'ng ddo+.i ngoa`i co^?ng tru+o+`ng mo^~i la^`n tan ho.c ve^`. Du` tu+. bie^'t va^.y, nhu+ng mo^~i khi nghe nho? Trang nha('c dde^'n, to^i va^~n tha^'y ma('c co+? la`m sao ddo' ne^n pha?i ti`m ca'ch dde^? nho? ta kho^ng no'i tie^'p nu+~a. Hai ddu+'a ru+o+.t nhau cha.y lo`ng vo`ng mo^.t lu'c ro^`i ngo^`i tho+? va` cu+o+`i ca^`u ho`a. Mo+'i nghe nho? Trang no'i dde^'n ddo', to^i dda~ ddo? ca? ma(.t va` gio+ "mo'ng vuo^'t" chua^?n bi. nhe'o la`m nho? ta vo^.i thu? the^' va` no'i lie^`n mo^.t ma.ch: To^i lu'ng tu'ng kho^ng bie^'t gia?i thi'ch la`m sao ne^n dda`nh cu+o+`i duye^n vo+'i nho? dde^? chu+~a the.n. Vo+'i la.i nho? Trang no'i ddu'ng y' to^i qua', co`n ca~i sao ddu+o+.c nu+~a. Chi. Thu'y ddu'ng la` tha^`n tu+o+.ng, la` ba` tie^n, la` qua^n su+, la` ngu+o+`i ba.n tri ky? cu?a to^i. To^i ye^u chi. tha^.t la` nhie^`u, nhu+ng co' le~ cu~ng chu+a nhie^`u ba(`ng ti`nh ye^u chi. da`nh cho to^i Chi. Thu'y ho+n to^i dde^'n mu+o+`i tuo^?i, nhu+ng chi. tha^.t tre? va` dde.p. Cha? the^' ma` anh Tha('ng cu+' pha`n na`n: To^i ddu+o+.c di.p lie^`n cho.c que^ anh a^'y dde^? tra? ddu~a cho nhu+~ng la^`n bi. anh tre^u ghe.o: Anh Tha('ng tu+'c qua' ma` kho^ng bie^'t la`m chi ne^n dda`nh bo? ddi mo^.t nu+o+'c, ma(.c cho to^i o^m bu.ng cu+o+`i la(n bo` ca`ng tre^n ghe^' sofa. -oOo- Lo+'p ho.c to^i ddang xo^n xao ve^` tin co' tha^`y gia'o da.y Toa'n mo+'i ddo^?i ve^` thay tha^`y Hoa`n. Bie^'t bao nhie^u la` huye^`n thoa.i ddu+o+.c the^u de^.t quanh vi. tha^`y chu+a bie^'t ma(.t na`y, khie^'n to^i cu~ng tha^'y no^n nao trong lo`ng. Cuo^'i cu`ng, ro^`i cu~ng dde^'n gio+` toa'n dda^`u tua^`n. Tha^`y Long, vi. tha^`y mo+'i, co`n ra^'t tre?, co' le~ chi? ho+n chu'ng to^i khoa?ng bo^'n, na(m tuo^?i gi` tho^i. Nhu+ng tha^`y ra^'t chu+~ng cha.c va` nghie^m trang. Ca? lo+'p du+o+`ng nhu+ sie^ng ho.c ho+n. Chu'ng to^i say me^ nghe tha^`y gia?ng, tranh nhau gia?i dda'p nhu+~ng ba`i toa'n ho'c bu'a cu?a tha^`y va` ca?m tha^'y gio+` toa'n sao ma` nga('n la. Co' mo^.t la^`n, to^i cu+' ngo^`i ca('n bu't suy nghi~ ma~i ma` va^~n kho^ng ta`i na`o ti`m ra lo+`i gia?i dda'p. Ba`i toa'n thoa.t nhi`n tu+o+?ng chu+`ng ra^'t ddo+n gia?n, nhu+ng sao la.i kho' ghe^ no+i . DDu'ng lu'c ddo', chi. Thu'y vu+`a ddi ho.c Anh Va(n ve^`, tro^ng tha^'y khuo^n ma(.t i?u xi`u cu?a to^i, ne^n ghe' la.i ddo.c so+ qua dde^` ba`i . Chi. nghi~ mo^.t chu't ro^`i ba?o: To^i mu+`ng qua', nha?y ca^~ng le^n o^m cha^`m la^'y chi. Thu'y va` reo to le^n: Chi. Thu'y mi?m cu+o+`i, go~ nhe. le^n dda^`u to^i mo^.t ca'i ro^`i ddi va`o pho`ng trong ngo^`i may qua^`n a'o . Tu+. du+ng to^i bo^~ng du+ng tha^'y thu+o+ng va` bie^'t o+n chi. Thu'y tha^.t la` nhie^`u, nhie^`u kho^ng the^? ta? ddu+o+.c. Mo^~i nga`y, ddi la`m ve^`, chi. la.i co`n nha^.n may the^m qua^`n a'o dde^? phu. giu'p bo^' me. nuo^i na^'ng chu'ng to^i a(n ho.c dda^`y ddu?. Va` cu~ng nho+` va^.y ma` to^i co' nhu+~ng bo^. qua^`n a'o tha^.t dde.p dde^? die^.n vo+'i ba.n be`. Nho? Trang co' la^`n tha('c ma('c vo+'i to^i la` sao chi. Thu'y dde.p va^.y ma` chu+a la^.p gia ddi`nh, cu~ng kho^ng tha^'y chi. co' bo^` ma(.c du` co' ra^'t nhie^`u ngu+o+`i theo dduo^?i chi.. To^i cu~ng cha(?ng bie^'t pha?i tra? lo+`i ra sao nu+~a, ne^n ho?i me.. Ho^m ddo', to^i vu+`a ngo^`i nho^? to'c sa^u cho me., vu+`a thi` tha^`m do` ho?i . Me. ti? te^ ke^? cho to^i nghe: Me. ho?i tre^u to^i ro^`i ke^? tie^'p: Nghe me. ke^?, to^i bo^~ng tha^'y thu+o+ng chi. Thu'y nhie^`u ho+n le^n. Lo`ng chung thu?y cu?a chi. tha^.t dda'ng ki'nh phu.c. To^i tha^`m ca^`u nguye^.n cho anh Qua^n ddu+o+.c bi`nh an va` so+'m tro+? ve^` sum ho.p vo+'i chi. Thu'y . To^'i ho^m ddo', to^i thu+'c tha^.t la` khuya . Mo^.t pha^`n vi` lo`ng cu+' nao nao khi nghi~ dde^'n mo^'i ti`nh cu?a chi. Thu'y va` anh Qua^n, pha^`n nu+~a vi` ba`i toa'n kho' qua', nghi~ ma~i va^~n chu+a ra lo+`i gia?i dda'p. To^i cu+' loay hoay vie^'t vie^'t xo'a xo'a dda^`y nhu+~ng trang gia^'y nha'p. Tie^'ng ma'y may va^~n vang dde^`u dde^`u be^n tai nhu+ nha('c nho+? to^i pha?i ga('ng ho.c ha`nh. Tho+`i gian cu+' cha^`m cha^.m tro^i qua . To^i bo^~ng gia^.t mi`nh khi chi. Thu'y dda(.t tay le^n vai to^i va` ho?i: To^i ngu+o+'c le^n nhi`n chi. cu+o+`i tru+`, ro^`i o^m cha^`m la^'y chi., khe~ no'i: Chi. Thu'y ho+i mi?m cu+o+`i, ddu+a tay di' nhe. va`o tra'n to^i ro^`i ba?o: To^i ddi.nh gia?i thi'ch cho chi. hie^?u la` lo`ng to^i ddang xu'c ddo^.ng va` tha^'y ye^u chi. nhie^`u ho+n sau khi nghe me. ke^? ve^` chuye^.n ti`nh cu?a chi.. Nhu+ng ro^`i, to^i cha(?ng bie^'t pha?i ba('t dda^`u ra sao nu+~a, ne^n chi? im la(.ng du.i du.i dda^`u va`o lo`ng chi. Thu'y ma(.c cho chi. hie^?u la^`m y' cu?a to^i . Chi. Thu'y co' le~ ho+i nga.c nhie^n nhu+ng va^~n di.u da`ng o^m to^i mo^.t lu'c, ro^`i khe~ ba?o: Sa'ng ho^m sau, to^i ddu+o+.c mo^.t phen ha~nh die^.n vo+'i ba.n be` vi` la` ngu+o+`i duy nha^'t gia?i ddu+o+.c ba`i toa'n. Tha^`y Long co' ve? nga.c nhie^n va` thi'ch thu' la('m. Lu'c to^i vie^'t xong ba`i gia?i le^n ba?ng, tha^`y nhu+ vo^ ti`nh ca^`m to+` ba`i gia?i, do chi. Thu'y vie^'t, ca^'t va`o quye^?n sa'ch. To^i nga^.p ngu+`ng muo^'n xin la.i, nhu+ng ro^`i kho^ng da'm ne^n la(?ng la(.ng ddi ve^` cho^~ ngo^`i . To^i cha(?ng ma`ng dde^'n nhu+~ng tie^'ng xi` xa`o khen ngo+.i cu?a dda'm ba.n be` ddang lao xao be^n tai, vi` to^i chi? ca^`n ddu+o+.c tha^`y Long khen ma` tho^i a`. Nhu+ va^.y pha?i cha(ng la` ti`nh ye^u ?? To^i tha^`m nghi~ va` ho+i ddo? ma(.t vi` tu+. the.n vo+'i y' tu+o+?ng vu+`a thoa'ng qua. Tru+a ddo' khi ddi ngang cho^~ to^i ngo^`i, tha^`y Long bo^~ng ba?o la` co' the^? tha^`y se~ ghe' tha(m to^i va`o tru+a mai sau gio+` tan ho.c. To^i li' nhi' khe~ da. mo^.t tie^'ng ro^`i ddi ve^` theo nho? Trang ma` ta^m tri' ma~i vo+ va^?n o+? dda^u dda^u khie^'n nho? Trang cu+' tha('c ma('c ho?i do` hoa`i . Buo^?i to^'i, a(n co+m xong, to^i cu+' ddi ra ddi va`o, kho^ng bie^'t ne^n ba('t dda^`u ca^u chuye^.n ra sao . May ma` chi. Thu'y ddoa'n ddu+o+.c ne^n ga.n ho?i . To^i a^'p u'ng ke^? cho chi. nghe ro^`i lo la('ng ho?i: Chi. Thu'y ba^.t cu+o+`i: Tru+a ho^m sau, vu+`a tan ho.c xong, to^i vo^.i dda.p xe ve^` nha`. Sau bu+~a co+m, bo^' me. va`o pho`ng nghi? tru+a, anh Tha('ng sang nha` ba.n ho.c ba`i, chi. Thu'y vu+`a mo+'i ddi dda^u ddo'. Ca? nha` va('ng la(.ng vo^ cu`ng, chi? co`n mi`nh to^i loay hoay lo do.n de.p nha` cu+?a cho go.n ga`ng ho+n. Tu+. nhie^n to^i tha^'y tha^.t ho^`i ho^.p, ma(.t cu+' no'ng bu+`ng bu+`ng nhu+ ddang la`m ddie^`u chi le'n lu't va^.y, la. tha^.t ddo'. Tho+`i gian cu+' thong tha? tro^i qua, to^i ddi ra ddi va`o ma~i, cha(?ng bie^'t la`m chi dde^? tu+. tra^'n ti~nh. Cuo^'i cu`ng, to^i ddi.nh sa('p xe^'p la.i cho^`ng sa'ch vo+? cu~ cho go.n ga`ng, dde.p ma('t ho+n. Nhu+ng ro^`i to^i la.i li'nh quy'nh dde^'n ddo^. la`m ddo^? ca? cho^`ng sa'ch vo+? cu?a chi. Thu'y, ne^n vo^.i va`ng cu'i xuo^'ng nha(.t. Ti`nh co+`, to^i ddo.c ddu+o+.c ma^'y ca^u tho+ trong mo^.t quye^?n vo+? mo+? tre^n ma(.t dda^'t. A, ne't chu+~ me^`m ma.i, xinh xa('n cu?a chi. Thu'y dda^y ma`. Vu+`a nga.c nhie^n xen la^~n to` mo` ne^n to^i vo^.i mang quye^?n vo+? ra ngoa`i pho`ng kha'ch ngo^`i ddo.c. A` thi` ra la` ta^.p tho+ cu?a chi. Thu'y. To^i tha^`m khe~ reo le^n. Nhu+~ng ba`i tho+ tha^.t hay va` de^~ thu+o+ng la`m sao ddo'. Chu+a bao gio+` to^i la.i nghi~ dde^'n chuye^.n chi. Thu'y co' mo^.t ta^m ho^`n thi si~ nhu+ va^.y . DDang me^ ma?i ddo.c, bo^~ng co' tie^'ng go~ cu+?a khe khe~ vang le^n la`m to^i nga^?ng le^n nhi`n ro^`i ba^.t reo le^n: To^i cha.y vo^.i ra mo+? cu+?a mo+`i tha^`y va`o nha`, ro^`i lu'ng tu'ng kho^ng bie^'t ne^n no'i chi nu+~a . May ma` tha^`y Long dda~ tu+. nhie^n ngo^`i xuo^'ng ghe^', ro^`i ddu`a ma` ba?o to^i: To^i be~n le~n cu+o+`i, vo^.i no'i tru+o+'c khi bo? cha.y xuo^'ng be^'p: Ro't nu+o+'c xong, to^i co`n cha^`n chu+`ng ddu+'ng the^m mo^.t lu'c dde^? la^'y la.i bi`nh ti~nh, tru+o+'c khi bu+ng nu+o+'c le^n pho`ng kha'ch: DDang no'i, to^i cho+.t im ba(.t khi tha^'y tha^`y Long ddang ca^`m ta^.p tho+ cu?a chi. Thu'y tre^n tay va` say me^ ddo.c. Nghe tie^'ng to^i, tha^`y ngu+?ng le^n nhi`n ro^`i ba?o: Tha^`y Long khe~ ba^.t cu+o+`i khi nghe to^i ly' su+.: To^i cu+o+`i the.n thu`ng ro^`i ngo^`i im, kho^ng da'm nhi`n tha(?ng va`o ma('t tha^`y . Nga`y thu+o+`ng to^i le'm li?nh la('m ma` sao bu+~a nay lu+o+~i to^i cu+' cu+'ng ddo+, a^'p a a^'p u'ng ma~i kho^ng ne^n lo+`i ddu+o+.c. Co' le~ tha^'y Long cu~ng nha^.n tha^'y ddu+o+.c su+. bo^'i ro^'i cu?a to^i ne^n tha^`y no'i: To^i chi? be~n le~n cu+o+`i va` tie^~n tha^`y ra cu+?a. To^'i ho^m ddo', to^i ma^'t ngu? vi` cu+' suy nghi~ va^?n vo+ ma~i. Tra'i tim to^i dda^.p ro^.n ra`ng mo^~i khi nghi~ dde^'n tha^`y Long. Pha?i cha(ng to^i dda~ ... ye^u ?? Mo^.t to^'i, ca? nha` vu+`a a(n co+m xong thi` tha^`y Long ghe' tha(m. Bo^' me. to^i ngo^`i no'i chuye^.n vo+'i tha^`y mo^.t lu'c ro^`i ve^` pho`ng nghi?. Chi? co`n to^i, anh Tha('ng va` tha^`y Long ngo^`i no'i chuye^.n trong pho`ng kha'ch. Nhu+~ng ma^?u chuye^.n ly' thu' cu+' tie^'p no^'i theo nhau ke^'t ne^n nhu+~ng tie^'ng cu+o+`i ro`n tan xen la^~n trong nhu+~ng cuo^.c tranh lua^.n so^i no^?i ba`n ve^` nhu+~ng giai thoa.i cu?a ca'c danh nha^n Toa'n ho.c va` ca? nhu+~ng chuye^.n tho+`i su+., va(n chu+o+ng, xa~ ho^.i . Mo^.t lu'c sau, anh Tha('ng co' ba.n dde^'n ru? ddi ta^.p va(n nghe^., chi? co`n mi`nh to^i ngo^`i no'i chuye^.n vo+'i tha^`y Long. Tha^.t su+. ra pha?i no'i la` to^i ngo^`i nghe va` ... nga('m tha^`y nhie^`u ho+n la` no'i . To^i cu+' ngo^`i va` me^ ma?i theo do~i nhu+~ng ma^?u chuye^.n tha^`y ke^? cho nghe, dde^? nghe ho^`n tha^?n tho+ theo tie^'ng no'i tra^`m a^'m cu?a tha^`y . Bo^~ng co' tie^'ng cu+?a mo+?, khie^'n to^i gia^.t mi`nh ngu+?ng le^n nhi`n ro^`i vu.t cha.y ra cu+?a ddo'n chi. Thu'y: Hai chi. em to^i cu+' ma?i ri'u ri't chuye^.n tro` vo^ ti`nh que^n kho^ng chu' y' dde^'n su+. hie^.n die^.n cu?a tha^`y Long. Ma~i dde^'n lu'c nghe tie^'ng dda(`ng ha('ng khe khe~ cu?a tha^`y, to^i mo+'i cho+.t nho+' dde^'n vie^.c gio+'i thie^.u hai ngu+o+`i vo+'i nhau . Chi. Thu'y ga^.t dda^`u cha`o tha^`y ro^`i ddi.nh va`o nha` trong, la`m to^i vo^.i va`ng ni'u chi. o+? la.i vi` muo^'n co' mo^.t ngu+o+`i o+? ca.nh mi`nh cho ... bo+'t run. Hai chi. em da(`ng co nhau mo^.t lu'c ro^`i chi. cu~ng chie^`u y' to^i, ngo^`i na'n la.i . Buo^?i to^'i ho^m ddo', tha^`y Long dda~ say me^ ke^? ra^'t nhie^`u chuye^.n cho chu'ng to^i nghe . Gio.ng no'i tra^`m a^'m, nhu+ng cu~ng ra^'t nhie^.t ti`nh, so^i no^?i cu?a tha^`y dda~ ru to^i va`o mo^.t co+n me^, may ma` co`n co' chi. Thu'y o+? be^n ca.nh dde^? giu'p to^i la^'y la.i su+. tu+. chu?. Sau ho^m ddo', tha^`y Long dda~ tro+? la.i nha` to^i ra^'t nhie^`u la^`n. To^i dda~ bo+'t e the.n ne^n ba('t dda^`u no'i chuye^.n tu+. nhie^n ho+n, ddo^i lu'c co`n ha(ng ha'i tham gia va`o nhu+~ng buo^?i tha?o lua^.n tha^.t la` vui va` ha`o hu+'ng khie^'n tha^`y Long cu~ng pha?i nga.c nhie^n. To^i dda~ no'i ra^'t nhie^`u, ra^'t nhie^`u, dda~ ke^? cho tha^`y nghe bie^'t bao nhie^u gia^'c mo^.ng vu vo+ cu?a to^i . Nhu+ng chi? co' mo^~i mo^.t ddie^`u to^i ddang a^'p u? trong lo`ng, co' le~ cha(?ng bao gio+` to^i co' the^? tho^'t tha`nh lo+`i ne^n tha^`y Long ma~i va^~n tha?n nhie^n, vo^ ti`nh kho^ng bie^'t, kho^ng hay . Chi? co' chi. Thu'y la` tha^'u hie^?u ddu+o+.c ra(`ng to^i dda~ tha^`m ye^u tha^`y Long, ne^n chi. thu+o+`ng tranh la`m nhu+~ng vie^.c cu?a to^i dde^? to^i co' thi` gio+` no'i chuye^.n vo+'i tha^`y Long nhie^`u ho+n . Mo^~i nga`y tro^i qua, ti`nh to^i tha^`m da`nh trao tha^`y ca`ng the^m ta(ng ga^'p bo^.i . Vi. ngo.t va` dda('ng cu?a ti`nh ye^u khie^'n ho^`n to^i lao ddao, vie^.c ho.c cu~ng pha^`n na`o bi. ke'm su't. May ma` to^i co`n co' chi. Thu'y, ba` tie^n hie^`n di.u, luo^n lo la('ng, sa(n so'c, giu'p ddo+~ ne^n cu~ng chu+a dde^'n no^~i na`o . To^i tha^`m ca'm o+n su+. te^' nhi. cu?a chi. tha^.t la` nhie^`u. -oOo- Thoa'ng cho^'c tho+`i gian tro^i qua nhanh qua'. Nhie^`u vie^.c xa?y ra do^`n da^.p khie^'n to^i ba`ng hoa`ng ngo+~ chu+`ng ddang mo+ . Tha^`y Long ra Ha` No^.i theo ho.c kho'a bo^`i du+o+~ng. Anh Qua^n ddu+o+.c tha ve^`, xum ho.p cu`ng chi. Thu'y . Ta? sao ddu+o+.c gia^y phu't tru`ng phu`ng mu+`ng mu+`ng tu?i tu?i ddo'. Sau nhu+~ng na(m tha'ng da`i chi.u nhie^`u gian kho^?, anh Qua^n ga^`y va` phong tra^`n ra^'t nhie^`u, nhu+ng ca'i da'ng cao cao, dda^`y ve? ngang ta`ng na(m na`o va^~n co`n. Chi? co' ma'i to'c anh dda~ so+'m ddo^?i ma`u . Tie^.c cu+o+'i cu?a anh Qua^n va` chi. Thu'y ddu+o+.c to^? chu+'c tuy ddo+n gia?n nhu+ng tha^.t trang nghie^m vo+'i su+. tham du+. cu?a ho. ha`ng hai ho. va` mo^.t so^' ba.n be` tha^n thuo^.c. Sau ddo', anh Qua^n dda~ cu`ng chi. Thu'y vu+o+.t bie^n va`o nhu+~ng nga`y gia'p Te^'t. Buo^?i to^'i chia tay, hai chi. em to^i dda~ na(`m ta^m su+. vo+'i nhau tha^.t khuya ma~i dde^'n khi to^i me^.t mo?i ngu? thie^'p ddi . Khi to^i choa`ng thu+'c da^.y thi` chi. Thu'y dda~ ddi ro^`i, chi? co' mo^.t go'i qua` chi. da`nh cho to^i dda(.t be^n go^'i vo+'i ha`ng chu+~ vie^'t vo^.i: Mo^~i la^`n nhi`n la.i nhu+~ng ha`ng chu+~ vie^'t vo^.i cu?a chi., to^i la.i ru+ng ru+ng muo^'n kho'c. Nho+' chi. vo^ cu`ng, chi. Thu'y o+i . No^~i nho+' vu't cao le^n ke^'t tha`nh nhu+~ng gio.t le^. tra`o da^ng no+i khoe' ma('t. Ba^'t gia'c, to^i ddu+a tay xie^'t cha(.t la^'y chie^'c go^'i co`n vu+o+ng hu+o+ng to'c cu?a chi. va`o lo`ng, mo+ ho^` tu+o+?ng nhu+ ddang ddu+o+.c chi. vo^~ ve^`, an u?i . To^i cu+' tha? ho^`n lang thang theo nhu+~ng nga`y tha'ng cu~ vo+'i bie^'t bao ky? nie^.m ngo.t nga`o cu?a hai chi. em que^n ca? tho+`i gian, kho^ng gian hie^.n ta.i . Bo^~ng co' tie^'ng xe tha('ng o+? tru+o+'c co^?ng, khie^'n to^i gia^.t mi`nh, cha.y ra cu+?a va` vui su+o+'ng tra`n nga^.p lo`ng khi tha^'y da'ng tha^`y Long. Tuy va^.y, to^i chi? khe~ no'i: Tha^`y Long co' ve? vui la('m, khuo^n ma(.t tha^`y ra.ng ro+~ vo+'i ddo^i ma('t long lanh nhu+ a^?n da^'u mo^.t nu. cu+o+`i . To^i nhi`n tha^`y va` tha^`m tu+. ho?i: "Pha?i cha(ng tha^`y vui vi` ga(.p la.i to^i ??". Ca^u ho?i cu+' nha?y mu'a trong tri' khie^'n to^i ca?m tha^'y no'ng bu+`ng ddo^i ma' va` tu+. the.n vo+'i y' nghi~ vo+' va^?n cu?a chi'nh mi`nh. May ma` tie^'ng tra^`m a^'m cu?a tha^`y cho+.t vang khe~ be^n tai, ke'o to^i tro+? ve^` hie^.n ta.i: To^i a^'p u'ng kho^ng bie^'t no'i chi, ne^n chi? chu mie^.ng nguy't tha^`y mo^.t ca'i thay lo+`i pha?n ddo^'i . Tha^`y Long chi? cu+o+`i cu+o+`i nhi`n to^i, ro^`i cho+.t ho?i: To^i ngo+~ nga`ng kho^ng hie^?u ta.i sao tu+. nhie^n tha^`y Long la.i ho?i ve^` chi. Thu'y, nhu+ng va^~n tra? lo+`i: To^i co`n ddang pha^n va^n chu+a bie^'t co' ne^n ke^? cho tha^`y Long nghe nhu+~ng thay ddo^?i trong gia ddi`nh to^i hay kho^ng thi` tha^`y Long dda~ trao cho to^i mo^.t go'i gia^'y va` chi? no'i va('n ta('t tru+o+'c khi vo^.i va~ bo? ddi: To^i go.i vo^.i theo nhu+ng tha^`y Long va^~n tha?n nhie^n la'i xe cha.y tha(?ng. Co' le~ tie^'ng ddo^.ng co+ o^`n a`o dda~ la`m chi`m ma^'t tie^'ng go.i cu?a to^i hay cu~ng co' the^? vi` lo`ng tha^`y ddang vui ne^n kho^ng chu' y' dde^'n ngoa.i ca?nh ?? To^i ddu+'ng do~i nhi`n theo ma~i dde^'n khi ma^'t hu't bo'ng tha^`y mo+'i tha^~n tho+` quay va`o nha`, tha^`m nghi~: "Chi. Thu'y dda^u co`n o+? dda^y dde^? xem qua` cu?a tha^`y nu+~a, tha^`y Long o+i". To^i o^m go'i qua` ngo^`i mo+ ma`ng mo^.t lu'c, ro^`i kho^ng ke^`m ddu+o+.c ti'nh hie^'u ky` cu?a mi`nh, ne^n tu+` tu+` mo+? lo+'p gia^'y bao be^n ngoa`i ra dde^? xem tha^`y Long ddi.nh ta(.ng chi. Thu'y mo'n qua` gi`. Ma('t to^i cho+.t hoa le^n khi ddo.c tha^'y ha`ng chu+~ bay bu+o+'m cu?a tha^`y vie^'t o+? go'c ta^'m hi`nh hoa. cha^n dung chi. Thu'y: "Thu+o+ng ta(.ng Vy~ Thu'y, ngu+o+`i con ga'i to^i ye^u . Vu~ Long". Mo^.t to+` gia^'y nho? khe~ ro+i xuo^'ng, to^i chi? co`n ddo.c ddu+o+.c loa'ng thoa'ng qua ma`n le^.: "..... ta^'m hi`nh thay lo+`i to? ti`nh, mong Thu'y cha^'p nha^.n ...". Ca? kho^ng gian nhu+ su.p ddo^?, to^i nga~ da`i tre^n go^'i va` tha^`m khe~ nu+'c no+? mo^.t mi`nh. Tu+' Die^~m - November 1, 1992 |
Nha(‘n Nhu? Kho^? Dau – O Misery
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Nhaén nhuû Khoå Ñau Khoå Ñau ôi! Khoå Ñau ôi!. Khoå Ñau ôi! Thích Quaûng Ñoä |
O Misery! Don't try to intimidate me for I had known thee too much I have met you on all my walks, And I always smiled, upon seeing you, Looking straight at you, with no fear, Truly you are worse than Death But to me you are just nothing Don't ever think that by fearing you I will compromise my wholeness to bow down under your inhumanity. Keep on mistreating me to elate your spirit of evil I will vow not to regret my transient body. O Misery! Don't you hear in the flowing life stream, The transitory waves are whirling and screaming? Don't you brag over your victory built on the corpses of the humanity who are unfortunate. By ignorance, you know nothing other than force. You laugh over destructions and ruins. The music you listen to, is grieving wails, The tea you sip is the flood of teardrops The wine you drink is fresh human blood The curtains you hang, are white turbans [*] of thousands of people, wiggling under your heels, Poverty and famine follow on your steps, people are shackled wherever you are at, Morning light also turns to glooms It covers every path to the future. Many innocent human embryos, still in the wombs You kill them, saying that the nation is too crowded. O Misery Don't you know? Translator: Ñoã Kieåm [*] Vietnamese people put white turban on their head to mourn the death of someone dear to them. |
Nha('n nhu? Kho^? DDau Kho^? DDau o+i! Kho^? DDau o+i! Kho^? DDau o+i! Mi bie^'t kho^ng? Thi'ch Qua?ng DDo^. |
(book review – -die^?m sa’ch)
Lo*`i To`a Soa.n: Sa'ch Vie^.t Nam vie^'t ba(`ng tie^'ng ngoa.i ngu*~ tha^.t la` hie^'m hoi. Toa` Soan Bu't Va`ng dda(ng ba`i na`y vo*'i mu.c ddi'ch gio*'i thie^.u to*'i ddo^.c gia? mo^.t cuo^'n sa'ch ra^'t co' gia' tri. cu?a mo^.t cu*.u si~ quan Ha?i Qua^n Vie^.t Nam Co^.ng Ho`a. Cuo^'n sa'ch na`y (
Counterpart) dda~ ddu*o*.c ta'n thu*o*?ng ro^.ng ra~i trong gio*'i va(n chu*o*ng ta.i My~. Kho^ng nhu*~ng cuo^'n sa'ch dda~ la`m chu*'ng cho mo^.t cuo^.c ddo^?i ddo*`i, ma` no' co`n ddu*o*.c tri`nh ba`y ra^'t duye^n da'ng, di' do?m du*o*'i ngo`i bu't cu?a vi. thi si~ ddo^`ng ta'c gia? vo*'i DDa.i Ta' DDo^~ Kie^?m: Ba` Julie Kane.|
Só Quan vaø Só Phu Oâng Ñoã Kieåm moät cöïu só quan HQVN, nay laø moät ngöôøi laõnh ñaïo coäng ñoàng Vieät nam taïi New Orleans, keå laïi nhöõng traän ñuïng ñoä cuûa chính baûn thaân Oâng trong moät cuoäc chieán tranh voâ voïng. Ba`i cuûa Giaùo sö Randy Fertel. Nhaø vaên Neil Jamieson, trong cuoán "Tìm hieåu Vieät Nam" ñaõ lyù luaän raèng: Muoán hieåu chính chuùng ta, chuùng ta phaûi tìm hieåu cuoäc chieán tranh Vieät Nam, vaø muoán tìm hieåu chieán tranh Vieät Nam, chuùng ta caàn hoïc hoûi theâm veà vaên hoùa Vieät Nam, veà nhöõng taäp tuïc cuûa ngöôøi Vieät Nam ñeå coù theå gôõ roái nhöõng cuoäc tranh luaän muø môø veà chính chuùng ta. Cuoán hoài kyù baát huû cuûa oâng Ñoã Kieåm ñaõ cho chuùng ta thaáy nhöõng ngöôøi ñoàng minh cuûa chuùng ta quan nieäm theá naøo veà cuoäc chieán vaø nghó gì veà chuùng ta. Töø moät ngöôøi ñoàng minh ñaõ töøng chieán ñaáu caïnh chuùng ta hôn 20 naêm vôùi caáp baäc thieáu uyù, roài ñaïi taù vaø sau cuøng ñöùng haøng thöù ba trong heä thoáng chæ huy haønh quaân cuûa Hai QVN, moät ngöôøi ñaõ coù 3 ngöôøi anh em boû maïng trong cuoäc chieán tranh Ñoâng Döông daøi ñaüng (moät bôûi ngöôøi Phaùp, moät bôûi Vieät coäng vaø moät bôûi ngöôøi Myõ) cuoán töï thuaät cuûa oâng Ñoã Kieåm ñaõ coù giaù trò vaø taàm voùc ñaùng keå. Cuoán saùch xöùng ñaùng ñöôïc nhieàu ngöôøi ñoïc, nhöõng ngöôøi muoán tìm hieåu veà cuoäc chieán tranh maø chuùng ta ñaõ töøng tham döï cuõng nhö veà caùc löïc löôïng tham chieán, baïn cuõng nhö thuø. Oâng Kieåm khoâng ca ngôïi söï can thieäp cuûa ngöôøi Hoa Kyø nhieàu laém. Roõ raøng laø ít khi chuùng ta ñöôïc ca ngôïi. Gioáng nhö trong cuoán "Ngöôøi Myõ traàm laëng" cuûa Graham Greene "khoâng ai coù duïng taâm toát hôn chuùng ta trong nhöõng chuyeän raéc roái maø chuùng ta ñaõ gaây ra" nhöng chuùng ta quaû thaät ñaõ gaây ra nhieàu söï raéc roái. Laø moät só quan chæ huy caùc chieán haïm tuaàn tieãu ngaên chaën Vieät coäng vaø buoân laäu ngoaøi bieån khôi cuõng nhö trong soâng laïch luoân luoân oâng coù boùng ngöôøi coá vaán Hoa Kyø beân caïnh. Veà sau naøy coá vaán (advisor) ñöôïc ñoåi thaønh "ñoái nhieäm" (counterpart) vaø do ñoù cuoán saùch ñaõ coù teân "Counterpart." Ñaõ coù laàn oâng than phieàn "coù coá vaán thaät laø khoù chòu, ngay ñeán oâng thaùnh cuõng khoâng muoán bò ngöôøi ta coá vaán", Nhöng söï thieáu teá nhò ñoù chæ laø ngoïn taûng baêng nhoâ khoûi maët nöôùc. Teä hôn nöõa, theo oâng, ngöôøi Hoa Kyø coù thoùi voâ tình ñaåy daân queâ cuõng nhö daân chaøi vaøo tay Vieät coäng." Ñaây cuõng laø ñeà taøi cuûa nhieàu caây buùt nhaø binh Koa Kyø khi vieát veà chieán tranh Vieät nam. Noãi böïc roïc cuûa hoï laø hoï ñaõ "taïo ra nhieàu Vieät coäng hôn laø soá Vieät coäng hoï ñaõ trieät haï ñöôïc" nhö lôøi oâng James Webb ñaõ vieát trong cuoán "Fields of Fire". Ong Webb ñaõ töøng phuïc vuï trong binh chuûng Thuûy Quaân Luïc Chieán vaø veà sau laøm ñeán Toång Tröôûng Haûi Quaân Hoa Kyø. Caùi nhìn cuûa ngöôøi Vieät nam veà cuoäc chieán tranh töông taøn coù leõ ñaõ ñöôïc bieåu loä roõ raøng nhaát qua nhöõng quyeát ñònh thaät khoù khaên maø hoï ñaõ luoân luoân phaûi löïa choïn. Tröôùc sau nhö moät, oâng Kieåm laø moät ngöôøi coù nguyeân taéc. Chính nhöõng nguyeân taéc soáng maø thaân phuï oâng ñaõ daäy oâng töø khi oâng coøn non daïi ñaõ höôùng daãn cuoäc ñôøi oâng. " Keû só khoâng bao giôø co cuïm tröôùc traùch nhieäm. Keû só luoân luoân ñaët toå quoác treân heát vaø nghó ñeán mình sau choùt". Nguyeân taéc soáng naøy ñaõ cho pheùp oâng pheâ phaùn nhöõng ngöôøi laøm chính trò ñaõ sai laàm trong vieäc laõnh ñaïo nöôùc oâng, nhöõng ngöôøi coá vaán thay vì giuùp bình ñònh nöôùc oâng thì laïi gaây nhieàu baát oån. Nguyeân taéc soáng ñoù ñaõ giuùp oâng laøm nhieàu quyeát ñònh khoù khaên, choïn ñöôøng chieán ñaáu trong haøng nguõ mieàn Nam maëc daàu oâng laø ngöôøi Baéc, khoâng bao giôø chòu khuaát phuïc tröôùc hoái loä, tham nhuõng, laïm quyeàn ngay caû khi gaây thieät thoøi cho chính gia ñình oâng. So saùnh cuoán töï thuaät cuûa oâng Ñoã Kieåm vôùi nhöõng kinh nghieäm cuûa oâng Tröông Nhö Taûng, moät ngöôøi ôû phía beân kia (keå trong cuoán Hoài Kyù cuaû moät Vieät Coäng xuaát baûn naêm 1985) ngöôøi ta ñaõ thaáy coù nhieàu ñieåm töông ñoàng noåi baät vaø raát ñaùng löu taâm. Caû hai ñeàu sinh tröôûng trong nhöõng gia ñình töông ñoái khaù giaû, caûø hai ñeàu ñöôïc haáp thuï neàn hoïc vaán cuûa ngöôøi Phaùp taïi caùc tröôøng Lyceùe. Caû hai luùc ñaàu ñeàu muoán traùnh chieán tranh baèng caùch nhaäp hoïc caùc tröôøng Haûi quaân Phaùp (oâng Kieåm ôû Brest vaø oâng Taûng ôû Toulon). Caû hai ñeàu baát maõn vì söï tham nhuõng cuûa caùc chính quyeàn mieàn Nam döôùi oâng Dieäm, oâng Thieäu vaø nhöõng vò khaùc nöõa. Nhöng oâng Kieåm ñaõ choïn ñöôøng chieán ñaáu baûo veä caùc chính phuû naøy. Oâng Taûng thì ngöôïc laïi, bôûi vì ñoái vôùi caû hai, laøm nhö vaäy laø ñaët toå quoác leân treân heát. Vì oâng Taûng cuõng vaäy, cuõng ñaõ ñöôïc thaân phuï oâng daäy raèng "Loøng trung vôùi nöôùc laø moät söï caàn thieát khoâng theå lay chuyeån". Oâng Taûng trôû thaønh moät ngöôøi coù ñòa vò trong chính quyeàn mieàn Nam, nhöng trong khi ñoù oâng laïi aâm thaàm laøm vieäc cho Maët Traän Giaûi Phoùng mieàn Nam, moät caùnh tay chính trò cuûa Coäng saûn Vieät Nam. Toâi raát tieác phaûi laøm vieäc so saùnh naøy bôûi toâi bieát oâng Kieåm seõ buoàn, tuy nhieân noù ñaõ noùi leân ñöôïc noãi ñau khoå cuûa moät ñôøi phuïc vuï. Oâng Kieåm ñaõ laøm nhöõng ñieàu oâng phaûi laøm, nhìn binh só thuoäc haï cheát ñeå "baûo veä moät tình trang ñaõ coù", trong khi neáu nhìn chung quanh hoï seõ thaáy tình traïng ñaõ coù ñoù chæ laø moät tình traïng thoái naùt". Nhöng neáu oâng khoâng laøm nhö vaäy laø oâng ñaõ ñaàu haøng moät keû thuø maø theo oâng conø teä haïi hôn nöõa vì chuùng töôïng tröng cho toäi aùc. Oâng Ta?ng thì nghó khaùc trong suoát thôøi gian phuïc vuï vaø chæ ñau khoå vì thaûm kòch cuûa chính oâng vaø ñaõ choïn con ñöôøng boû nöôùc ra ñi sau chieán tranh, sau khi Saøi goøn thaát thuû, bôûi vì caùc oâng xeáp Coäng saûn ñaõ khoâng ban moät tieáng noùi hay moät thöïc quyeàn naøo cho nhöõng ngöôøi Vieät coäng mieàn nam, nhöõng ngöôøi naøy nghó raèng hoï ñaõ chieán ñaáu raát haêng say cho söï chieán thaéng. Ñieàu neâu ra ôû ñaây khoâng phaûi ñeå hoûi ai phaûi hôn ai, nhöng chính laø, moät laàn nöõa, noùi leân caùi ñieàu maø chuùng ta ñaõ bieát töø laâu laø trong cuoäc chieán ôû Vieät Nam khoâng coù keû thaéng ngöôøi baïi. Sau roát, moät ñieåm nöõa laø taát caû nhöõng nhaân vaät cuûa taám thaûm kòch naøy ñeàu qua moät kinh nghieäm gaàn gioáng nhau: Caû hai ñeàu baét ñaàu vôùi nhöõng tö töôûng cao ñeïp (moãi ngöôøi ñeàu tin raèng hoï ñang chieán ñaáu ngoaïi xaâm) nhöng cuoäc chieán trong caû hai phe ñaõ trôû thaønh nhöõng troø lôïi duïng, tham quyeàn vaø laõnh ñaïo toài teä. Nhöng ñeán cuoái cuoäc haønh trình cuûa hoï thì söï khaùc bieät ñaõ thaät roõ raøng: Trong khi oâng Taûng phuïc vuï vôùi nieàm tin suoát cuoäc chieán vaø chæ thaát voïng khi Saøi Goøn thaát thuû naêm 1975, oâng Kieåm ñaõ sôùm chia seû thaùi ñoä ñau thöông cuaû nhöõng ngöôøi chieán binh Hoa Kyø: khoâng maáy tin töôûng ôû cuoäc chieán, chaùn ngaùn vì tham nhuõng traøn ngaäp caùi xaõ hoäi maø oâng ta vaø cuõng nhö chuùng ta ñeàu muoán cöùu vaõn. Taát caû nhöõng gì chuùng ta coù theå laøm ñöôïc chæ coøn laø "raùng ñeo ñaúng" vaø tìm caùch soáng qua cuoäc chieán. Khôûi ñaàu baèng nhöõng lyù töôûng cao ñeïp ñeå roài cuoái cuøng phaûi chieán ñaáu trong voâ voïng thì quaû thaät ñoù laø moät thaûm kòch. Trong khi söï chaùn naûn saâu xa cuûa oâng Kieåm baøng baïc phuû khaép cuoán saùch, ngöôøi ta cuõng nhaän thaáy gioáng nhö ôû nhöõng ngöôøi di cö khaùc moät caâu chuyeän ñaày loøng thöông yeâu queâ me. Chaéc haún cuoán saùch ñaõ ñöôïc vieát cho nhöõng theá heä ñang lôùn leân, nhöõng ngöôøi chæ bieát Vieät Nam qua tuoåi thô aáu hoaëc chæ ñöôïc nghe nhöõng truyeän mô hoà do caùc ngöôøi nhieàu tuoåi keå laïi. Nhöõng ngöôøi treû naøy caàn phaûi ñoïc cuoán saùch cuûa oâng Kieåm. Hoï seõ tìm thaáy nhöõng neùt ñeïp ñaùng yeâu cuûa neàn vaên hoùa Vieät Nam, nhöõng taäp tuïc, nhöõng moái tình gia ñình chaët cheõ vaø maëc daàu coù chieán tranh, moät xaõ hoäi hoøa nhòp saâu ñaäm maø ngay caû nhöõng ngöôøi thuø nghòch nhau cuõng ñoàng yù vôùi nhau treân nhöõng nguyeân taéc soáng caên baûn. Taát caû nhöõng ñieåm neâu treân ñaõ ñöôïc dieãn taû qua loái haønh vaên tuyeät taùc, ñoâi khi ñaày thi töù cuûa ngöôøi ñoàng taùc giaû. Baø Julie Kane thöïc söï ñaõ giuùp oâng Kieåm vaø phuïc vuï caùc vò ñoäc giaû raát nhieàu trong cuoán saùch thaät hay naøy. (Oâng Randy Fertel laø giaùo sö phuï taù veà Anh ngöû taïi ñaïi hoïc Tulane chuyeân giaûng daäy caùc lôùp Vaên chöông trong cuoäc chieán tranh Vieät Nam) |
CounterpartAn officer and a gentleman Vietnam naval officer Kiem Do, now a leader in the Vietnamese community, recounts his battles in an unwinnable war. Neil Jamieson argues in "Understanding Vietnam" that "to understand ourselves we need to understand the Vietnam war" and that to do so we need "to learn more about Vietnamese culture and Vietnamese paradigms in order to untangle the muddled debates about our own." Kiem Do's superbly written memoir gives a glimpse into the way our allies saw the war and how they saw us. Coming from a man who fought as our ally over 20 years as a naval ensign, captain and finally as third in command of the Vietnamese Navy by a man who lost three brothers in the long Indochinese wars (one to the French, one to the VC, and one to the Americans) Kiem Do's account has considerable weight and importance. It deserves a wide readership among those who wish to understand the war we fought and the forces we fought alongside and against. His portrait of American involvement is not flattering. Apparently, we rarely got it. Like Graham Greene's Quiet American, no one had "better motives for all the trouble (we) caused" but plenty of trouble we certainly caused. As a naval officer in charge of boats that patrolled both the high seas and the inland or riverine waters in search of Viet Cong guerrillas and contraband, Kiem was always shadowed by American advisor, later called "Counterparts", (hence the book's title). "Advisor," he complains at one point, "was irritating-because nobody, even a saint, likes to be on the receiving end of 'advice.'" Such insensitivity was just a tip of the iceberg. Far worse according to Kiem was our habit of "pushing Vietnamese peasants and fishermen into the arms of the Viet Cong. "This is a theme that also pervades American soldiers'writing about the war, their frustration that they "done made a lot more VC than they ever end up killing," as James Webb writes in "Field of Fire." Webb served as a Marine and later as secretary of the Navy. How the Vietnamese saw this civil war is perhaps best understood in terms of hard choices it constantly forced upon them. First and last, Kiem Do is a man of principle and the principle that oriented his life he learned at his father's knee:" A superior man never shrinks from his responsibilities. He puts his country first and himself last." This principle enables him to judge the politicians who misled his country and the American counterparts that wreaked havoc where they hoped to quell it. It enables him to make hard choices again and again, choosing to fight for the South even though he is a northerner, and never succumbing to the ever-present temptation to bribery and corruption and privilege, even at the expense of his family's immediate well-being. It is striking and instructive to note how closely this account compares to Truong Nhu Tang's experience on the other side (recounted in "A Viet Cong Memoir," published in 1985). Coming from well-to-do families, both get the benefit of French lycee education. Both avoid service in the early days of the war by entering French naval academies (Kiem at Brest, Tang at Toulon). Both are alienated by the corruption of the South Vietnamese regimes, under Diem, Thieu and thereafter. But Kiem chooses to fight in support of these regimes, Tang against, because to do so, for both, is to put his country first. For Tang too learned from his father that "loyalty to the nation" is "the unshakable necessity." Tang becomes a ranking member in the southern government while serving undercover as one of the leaders of the National Liberation Front (NFL) the political arm of the Viet Cong. The point of comparison, which I regret to think will give Kiem Do pain, is nonetheless to note the pathos of his tragic career. Kiem did what he did, watched men die " to preserve the status quo-when they could look around and see that it was rotten," because not to do so was to succumb to an enemy that was rottener still, indeed for Kiem, incarnate evil. Tang, who believed otherwise for most of his career, suffered his own tragedy, finally choosing exile after the war, because the party bosses in the North gave no power and no voice to the southern VC who had fought so hard so idealistically they believed, for that victory. The point is not to ask who was more right but rather to note again what we have long known, that there were no winners in the American War in Vietnam. The point too is that all the players in this tragedy had finally pretty much the same experience: that begun with noble intent (each believed in their own fervent way that they were fending off foreign aggressors), the war on all sides soon deteriorated into profiteering, grabs for power, and bad leadership. But finally their differences are the most striking. Where Tang fought throughout the war with fervor and became disillusioned only after the fall of Saigon in 1975, Kiem soon shared the tragic attitude of most fighting Americans: not really believing in the fight, embittered by the corruption everywhere apparent in the society he and we were trying to save, all that they could do was "just hang on " just to try to survive the war. Begun in idealism it was finally fought devoid of intrinsic purpose, a tragedy indeed. While Kiem's deep frustration pervades the memoir, his narrative, like almost every immigrant's, is also a story of longing for the homeland. No doubt, it was written in part for the benefit of the rising generations who either knew Vietnam only as children or who have known it only through the hazy second hand accounts of their elders. They should read this book. Here they will find a loving portrait of Vietnamese culture, its folkways and close-knit families and, the war to the contrary notwithstanding, its deeply harmonious |
Si~ Quan va` Si~ Phu O^ng DDo^~ Kie^?m mo^.t cu+.u si~ quan HQVN ,nay la` mo^.t ngu+o+`i la~nh dda.o co^.ng ddo^`ng Vie^.t nam ta.i New Orleans, ke^? la.i nhu+~ng tra^.n ddu.ng ddo^. cu?a chi'nh ba?n tha^n O^ng trong mo^.t cuo^.c chie^'n tranh vo^ vo.ng. Ba`i cu?a Gia'o su+ Randy Fertel.Nha` va(n Neil Jamieson, trong cuo^'n "Ti`m hie^?u Vie^.t Nam" dda~ ly' lua^.n ra(`ng: Muo^'n hie^?u chi'nh chu'ng ta, chu'ng ta pha?i ti`m hie^?u cuo^.c chie^'n tranh Vie^.t Nam, va` muo^'n ti`m hie^?u chie^'n tranh Vie^.t Nam, chu'ng ta ca^`n ho.c ho?i the^m ve^` va(n ho'a Vie^.t Nam, ve^` nhu+~ng ta^.p tu.c cu?a ngu+o+`i Vie^.t Nam dde^? co' the^? go+~ ro^'i nhu+~ng cuo^.c tranh lua^.n mu` mo+` ve^` chi'nh chu'ng ta. Cuo^'n ho^`i ky' ba^'t hu? cu?a o^ng DDo^~ Kie^?m dda~ cho chu'ng ta tha^'y nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i ddo^`ng minh cu?a chu'ng ta quan nie^.m the^' na`o ve^` cuo^.c chie^'n va` nghi~ gi` ve^` chu'ng ta. Tu+` mo^.t ngu+o+`i ddo^`ng minh dda~ tu+`ng chie^'n dda^'u ca.nh chu'ng ta ho+n 20 na(m vo+'i ca^'p ba^.c thie^'u uy', ro^`i dda.i ta' va` sau cu`ng ddu+'ng ha`ng thu+' ba trong he^. tho^'ng chi? huy ha`nh qua^n cu?a Ha?i Qua^n Vie^.t Nam, mo^.t ngu+o+`i dda~ co' 3 ngu+o+`i anh em bo? ma.ng trong cuo^.c chie^'n tranh DDo^ng Du+o+ng da`i dda(~ng (mo^.t bo+?i ngu+o+`i Pha'p, mo^.t bo+?i Vie^.t co^.ng va` mo^.t bo+?i ngu+o+`i My~) cuo^'n tu+. thua^.t cu?a o^ng DDo^~ Kie^?m dda~ co' gia' tri. va` ta^`m vo'c dda'ng ke^?. Cuo^'n sa'ch xu+'ng dda'ng ddu+o+.c nhie^`u ngu+o+`i ddo.c, nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i muo^'n ti`m hie^?u ve^` cuo^.c chie^'n tranh ma` chu'ng ta dda~ tu+`ng tham du+. cu~ng nhu+ ve^` ca'c lu+.c lu+o+.ng tham chie^'n, ba.n cu~ng nhu+ thu`. O^ng Kie^?m kho^ng ca ngo+.i su+. can thie^.p cu?a ngu+o+`i Hoa Ky` nhie^`u la('m. Ro~ ra`ng la` i't khi chu'ng ta ddu+o+.c ca ngo+.i. Gio^'ng nhu+ trong cuo^'n "Ngu+o+`i My~ tra^`m la(.ng" cu?a Graham Greene "kho^ng ai co' du.ng ta^m to^'t ho+n chu'ng ta trong nhu+~ng chuye^.n ra('c ro^'i ma` chu'ng ta dda~ ga^y ra" nhu+ng chu'ng ta qua? tha^.t dda~ ga^y ra nhie^`u su+. ra('c ro^'i. La` mo^.t si~ quan chi? huy ca'c chie^'n ha.m tua^`n tie^~u nga(n cha(.n Vie^.t co^.ng va` buo^n la^.u ngoa`i bie^?n kho+i cu~ng nhu+ trong so^ng la.ch luo^n luo^n o^ng co' bo'ng ngu+o+`i co^' va^'n Hoa Ky` be^n ca.nh. Ve^` sau na`y co^' va^'n (advisor) ddu+o+.c ddo^?i tha`nh "ddo^'i nhie^.m" (counterpart) va` do ddo' cuo^'n sa'ch dda~ co' te^n "Counterpart." DDa~ co' la^`n o^ng than phie^`n "co' co^' va^'n tha^.t la` kho' chi.u, ngay dde^'n o^ng tha'nh cu~ng kho^ng muo^'n bi. ngu+o+`i ta co^' va^'n", Nhu+ng su+. thie^'u te^' nhi. ddo' chi? la` ngo.n ta?ng ba(ng nho^ kho?i ma(.t nu+o+'c. Te^. ho+n nu+~a, theo o^ng, ngu+o+`i Hoa Ky` co' tho'i vo^ ti`nh dda^?y da^n que^ cu~ng nhu+ da^n cha`i va`o tay Vie^.t co^.ng." DDa^y cu~ng la` dde^` ta`i cu?a nhie^`u ca^y bu't nha` binh Koa Ky` khi vie^'t ve^` chie^'n tranh Vie^.t nam. No^~i bu+.c ro.c cu?a ho. la` ho. dda~ "ta.o ra nhie^`u Vie^.t co^.ng ho+n la` so^' Vie^.t co^.ng ho. dda~ trie^.t ha. ddu+o+.c" nhu+ lo+`i o^ng James Webb dda~ vie^'t trong cuo^'n "Fields of Fire". O^ng Webb dda~ tu+`ng phu.c vu. trong binh chu?ng Thu?y Qua^n Lu.c Chie^'n va` ve^` sau la`m dde^'n To^?ng Tru+o+?ng Ha?i Qua^n Hoa Ky`. Ca'i nhi`n cu?a ngu+o+`i Vie^.t nam ve^` cuo^.c chie^'n tranh tu+o+ng ta`n co' le~ dda~ ddu+o+.c bie^?u lo^. ro~ ra`ng nha^'t qua nhu+~ng quye^'t ddi.nh tha^.t kho' kha(n ma` ho. dda~ luo^n luo^n pha?i lu+.a cho.n. Tru+o+'c sau nhu+ mo^.t, o^ng Kie^?m la` mo^.t ngu+o+`i co' nguye^n ta('c. Chi'nh nhu+~ng nguye^n ta('c so^'ng ma` tha^n phu. o^ng dda~ da^.y o^ng tu+` khi o^ng co`n non da.i dda~ hu+o+'ng da^~n cuo^.c ddo+`i o^ng. " Ke? si~ kho^ng bao gio+` co cu.m tru+o+'c tra'ch nhie^.m. Ke? si~ luo^n luo^n dda(.t to^? quo^'c tre^n he^'t va` nghi~ dde^'n mi`nh sau cho't". Nguye^n ta('c so^'ng na`y dda~ cho phe'p o^ng phe^ pha'n nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i la`m chi'nh tri. dda~ sai la^`m trong vie^.c la~nh dda.o nu+o+'c o^ng, nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i co^' va^'n thay vi` giu'p bi`nh ddi.nh nu+o+'c o^ng thi` la.i ga^y nhie^`u ba^'t o^?n. Nguye^n ta('c so^'ng ddo' dda~ giu'p o^ng la`m nhie^`u quye^'t ddi.nh kho' kha(n, cho.n ddu+o+`ng chie^'n dda^'u trong ha`ng ngu~ mie^`n Nam ma(.c da^`u o^ng la` ngu+o+`i Ba('c, kho^ng bao gio+` chi.u khua^'t phu.c tru+o+'c ho^'i lo^., tham nhu~ng, la.m quye^`n ngay ca? khi ga^y thie^.t tho`i cho chi'nh gia ddi`nh o^ng. So sa'nh cuo^'n tu+. thua^.t cu?a o^ng DDo^~ Kie^?m vo+'i nhu+~ng kinh nghie^.m cu?a o^ng Tru+o+ng Nhu+ Ta?ng, mo^.t ngu+o+`i o+? phi'a be^n kia (ke^? trong cuo^'n Ho^`i Ky' cua? mo^.t Vie^.t Co^.ng xua^'t ba?n na(m 1985) ngu+o+`i ta dda~ tha^'y co' nhie^`u ddie^?m tu+o+ng ddo^`ng no^?i ba^.t va` ra^'t dda'ng lu+u ta^m. Ca? hai dde^`u sinh tru+o+?ng trong nhu+~ng gia ddi`nh tu+o+ng ddo^'i kha' gia?, ca?o+. hai dde^`u ddu+o+.c ha^'p thu. ne^`n ho.c va^'n cu?a ngu+o+`i Pha'p ta.i ca'c tru+o+`ng Lyce'e. Ca? hai lu'c dda^`u dde^`u muo^'n tra'nh chie^'n tranh ba(`ng ca'ch nha^.p ho.c ca'c tru+o+`ng Ha?i qua^n Pha'p (o^ng Kie^?m o+? Brest va` o^ng Ta?ng o+? Toulon). Ca? hai dde^`u ba^'t ma~n vi` su+. tham nhu~ng cu?a ca'c chi'nh quye^`n mie^`n Nam du+o+'i o^ng Die^.m, o^ng Thie^.u va` nhu+~ng vi. kha'c nu+~a. Nhu+ng o^ng Kie^?m dda~ cho.n ddu+o+`ng chie^'n dda^'u ba?o ve^. ca'c chi'nh phu? na`y. O^ng Ta?ng thi` ngu+o+.c la.i, bo+?i vi` ddo^'i vo+'i ca? hai, la`m nhu+ va^.y la` dda(.t to^? quo^'c le^n tre^n he^'t. Vi` o^ng Ta?ng cu~ng va^.y, cu~ng dda~ ddu+o+.c tha^n phu. o^ng da^.y ra(`ng "Lo`ng trung vo+'i nu+o+'c la` mo^.t su+. ca^`n thie^'t kho^ng the^? lay chuye^?n". O^ng Ta?ng tro+? tha`nh mo^.t ngu+o+`i co' ddi.a vi. trong chi'nh quye^`n mie^`n Nam, nhu+ng trong khi ddo' o^ng la.i a^m tha^`m la`m vie^.c cho Ma(.t Tra^.n Gia?i Pho'ng mie^`n Nam, mo^.t ca'nh tay chi'nh tri. cu?a Co^.ng sa?n Vie^.t Nam. To^i ra^'t tie^'c pha?i la`m vie^.c so sa'nh na`y bo+?i to^i bie^'t o^ng Kie^?m se~ buo^`n, tuy nhie^n no' dda~ no'i le^n ddu+o+.c no^~i ddau kho^? cu?a mo^.t ddo+`i phu.c vu.. O^ng Kie^?m dda~ la`m nhu+~ng ddie^`u o^ng pha?i la`m, nhi`n binh si~ thuo^.c ha. che^'t dde^? "ba?o ve^. mo^.t ti`nh trang dda~ co'", trong khi ne^'u nhi`n chung quanh ho. se~ tha^'y ti`nh tra.ng dda~ co' ddo' chi? la` mo^.t ti`nh tra.ng tho^'i na't". Nhu+ng ne^'u o^ng kho^ng la`m nhu+ va^.y la` o^ng dda~ dda^`u ha`ng mo^.t ke? thu` ma` theo o^ng co`n te^. ha.i ho+n nu+~a vi` chu'ng tu+o+.ng tru+ng cho to^.i a'c. O^ng Ta?ng thi` nghi~ kha'c trong suo^'t tho+`i gian phu.c vu. va` chi? ddau kho^? vi` tha?m ki.ch cu?a chi'nh o^ng va` dda~ cho.n con ddu+o+`ng bo? nu+o+'c ra ddi sau chie^'n tranh, sau khi Sa`i go`n tha^'t thu?, bo+?i vi` ca'c o^ng xe^'p Co^.ng sa?n dda~ kho^ng ban mo^.t tie^'ng no'i hay mo^.t thu+.c quye^`n na`o cho nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i Vie^.t co^.ng mie^`n nam, nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i na`y nghi~ ra(`ng ho. dda~ chie^'n dda^'u ra^'t ha(ng say cho su+. chie^'n tha('ng. DDie^`u ne^u ra o+? dda^y kho^ng pha?i dde^? ho?i ai pha?i ho+n ai, nhu+ng chi'nh la`, mo^.t la^`n nu+~a, no'i le^n ca'i ddie^`u ma` chu'ng ta dda~ bie^'t tu+` la^u la` trong cuo^.c chie^'n o+? Vie^.t Nam kho^ng co' ke? tha('ng ngu+o+`i ba.i. Sau ro^'t, mo^.t ddie^?m nu+~a la` ta^'t ca? nhu+~ng nha^n va^.t cu?a ta^'m tha?m ki.ch na`y dde^`u qua mo^.t kinh nghie^.m ga^`n gio^'ng nhau: Ca? hai dde^`u ba('t dda^`u vo+'i nhu+~ng tu+ tu+o+?ng cao dde.p (mo^~i ngu+o+`i dde^`u tin ra(`ng ho. ddang chie^'n dda^'u ngoa.i xa^m) nhu+ng cuo^.c chie^'n trong ca? hai phe dda~ tro+? tha`nh nhu+~ng tro` lo+.i du.ng, tham quye^`n va` la~nh dda.o to^`i te^.. Nhu+ng dde^'n cuo^'i cuo^.c ha`nh tri`nh cu?a ho. thi` su+. kha'c bie^.t dda~ tha^.t ro~ ra`ng: Trong khi o^ng Ta?ng phu.c vu. vo+'i nie^`m tin suo^'t cuo^.c chie^'n va` chi? tha^'t vo.ng khi Sa`i Go`n tha^'t thu? na(m 1975, o^ng Kie^?m dda~ so+'m chia se? tha'i ddo^. ddau thu+o+ng cua? nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i chie^'n binh Hoa Ky`: kho^ng ma^'y tin tu+o+?ng o+? cuo^.c chie^'n, cha'n nga'n vi` tham nhu~ng tra`n nga^.p ca'i xa~ ho^.i ma` o^ng ta va` cu~ng nhu+ chu'ng ta dde^`u muo^'n cu+'u va~n. Ta^'t ca? nhu+~ng gi` chu'ng ta co' the^? la`m ddu+o+.c chi? co`n la` "ra'ng ddeo dda(?ng" va` ti`m ca'ch so^'ng qua cuo^.c chie^'n. Kho+?i dda^`u ba(`ng nhu+~ng ly' tu+o+?ng cao dde.p dde^? ro^`i cuo^'i cu`ng pha?i chie^'n dda^'u trong vo^ vo.ng thi` qua? tha^.t ddo' la` mo^.t tha?m ki.ch. Trong khi su+. cha'n na?n sa^u xa cu?a o^ng Kie^?m ba`ng ba.c phu? kha('p cuo^'n sa'ch, ngu+o+`i ta cu~ng nha^.n tha^'y gio^'ng nhu+ o+? nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i di cu+ kha'c mo^.t ca^u chuye^.n dda^`y lo`ng thu+o+ng ye^u que^ me. Cha('c ha(?n cuo^'n sa'ch dda~ ddu+o+.c vie^'t cho nhu+~ng the^' he^. ddang lo+'n le^n, nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i chi? bie^'t Vie^.t Nam qua tuo^?i tho+ a^'u hoa(.c chi? ddu+o+.c nghe nhu+~ng truye^.n mo+ ho^` do ca'c ngu+o+`i nhie^`u tuo^?i ke^? la.i. Nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i tre? na`y ca^`n pha?i ddo.c cuo^'n sa'ch cu?a o^ng Kie^?m. Ho. se~ ti`m tha^'y nhu+~ng ne't dde.p dda'ng ye^u cu?a ne^`n va(n ho'a Vie^.t Nam, nhu+~ng ta^.p tu.c, nhu+~ng mo^'i ti`nh gia ddi`nh cha(.t che~ va` ma(.c da^`u co' chie^'n tranh, mo^.t xa~ ho^.i ho`a nhi.p sa^u dda^.m ma` ngay ca? nhu+~ng ngu+o+`i thu` nghi.ch nhau cu~ng ddo^`ng y' vo+'i nhau tre^n nhu+~ng nguye^n ta('c so^'ng ca(n ba?n. Ta^'t ca? nhu+~ng ddie^?m ne^u tre^n dda~ ddu+o+.c die^~n ta? qua lo^'i ha`nh va(n tuye^.t ta'c, ddo^i khi dda^`y thi tu+' cu?a ngu+o+`i ddo^`ng ta'c gia?. Ba` Julie Kane thu+.c su+. dda~ giu'p o^ng Kie^?m va` phu.c vu. ca'c vi. ddo^.c gia? ra^'t nhie^`u trong cuo^'n sa'ch tha^.t hay na`y. (O^ng Randy Fertel la` gia'o su+ phu. ta' ve^` Anh ngu+~ ta.i dda.i ho.c Tulane chuye^n gia?ng da^.y ca'c lo+'p Va(n chu+o+ng trong cuo^.c chie^'n tranh Vie^.t Nam) |
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Baø Ñoà Coâ Myõ thoân Ngoâ Xaù *** Coù leõ coøn bôõ ngôõ *** Gioïng aám chaøng ñoïc saùch *** Taøi cao nhöng phaän ruûi *** Traêng xöa keà ñaàu ngoõ |
The Teacher’s Wife Miss My of Ngo Xa village *** Perhaps she was still shy *** His warm voice reads books, *** Highly talented, but luckless, *** The old moon still comes back, |
Ba` DDo^` Co^ My~ tho^n Ngo^ Xa' *** Co' le~ co`n bo+~ ngo+~ *** Gio.ng a^'m cha`ng ddo.c sa'ch *** Ta`i cao nhu+ng pha^.n ru?i *** Tra(ng xu+a ke^` dda^`u ngo~ |
Note
: In the old days, there was an examination only once every three years. After five exams, 15 years have passed. That time length could discourage any man from trying to become a mandarin – the condition was passing those exams. Also, in the old days, a village teacher got no money from his pupils. Only once a year, before the new year, the pupil's parents brought him a couple of fowls and a basket of rice as a mark of gratitude.To*’i dda^y la` he^’t Bu’t Va`ng So^’ 1. To`a Soa.n mong nha^.n ddu*o*.c nhu*~ng y’ kie^’n ddo’ng go’p cu?a ddo^.c gia?. Thu* tu*` xin gu*?i ve^`: butvang@hotmail.com